I'm not sure if it's funny, or just sad, that the NFL Players Association would see the need in releasing a 64-page lockout handbook chock full of helpful ideas on how players who make an average salary of $800,000 can survive a work stoppage. Yes, that's a 6-figure number you just glanced over.
|Photo by: NFL Images|
"A lockout can mean stressful times," it points out in a section titled "Eat, Drink and be Merry." "Reducing expenses doesn't mean you must stop living." "A few minor tweaks," the handbook continues, "can mean the difference between blowing the budget and maintaining solidarity."
I'm sure at this point you're asking yourself, what are some of these minor tweaks?
"Hit the grocery store instead of the restaurant," is one. Right. As if most NFL players know where their local Kroger or Food Lion is even located.
"Leave the club with your wallet and budget intact," is another. That might as well read, "What to tell your entourage."
"Let your friends know that you intend to have a good time, but they will be responsible for their own food and drinks," the handbook advises. "Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of by people who want you to pay for their fun." Wow. Is EVERYBODY stupid around here? If you actually need to be advised on how to handle your money and the folks around you, then you probably shouldn't even be out in the first place.
The handbook advises, if you're going to party, "Party with a purpose and network your way into your future career. Strategically use your time off to establish contact with successful individuals or potential business partners. Invite them out for a drink, lunch or even a nice round of golf."
Yeah, I couldn't have said that better myself.
The bottom line is, these guys won't exactly be clipping coupons or microwaving a can of Chunky soup bought at the local 7-Eleven for their meals, but they may want to go easy on the fur coats and bling.
Having said that, I really hope there isn't a work stoppage in the NFL. After all, I wouldn't wanna have to see these guys slumming it.