December 28, 2012

Analyze THIS!

By - Keith Smith

Sports Analyst (noun) - someone presumably knowledgeable about sports, who is paid to offer opinions and breakdowns of performance, specifically about the sport for which he provides analysis.

It's been a tough month for several analysts at "The Worldwide Leader in Sports," and based on their recent performances, it appears that no one at the network bothers to read this definition before hiring the on-air staff.

In early December, NFL analyst Rob Parker (who is African American) was suspended for comments perceived as racist about Robert Griffin III, calling him a "cornball brother" and insinuating that he wasn't black enough by calling him "kind of black."

Photo by: Getty Images
Then came NFL analyst Lomas Brown's admission that, back when he played for the Detroit Lions in 1994, he intentionally allowed a defender to go unblocked, which resulted in an injury to his starting quarterback, Scott Mitchell.

Earlier this week, NFL analyst Merril Hoge had the audacity to call Tim Tebow "phony as a three-dollar bill," for which he has (deservedly) been blasted the past few days.

And just so you don't think that the proverbial foot-in-mouth disease is exclusive to NFL guys only, just a couple of months ago, basketball analyst Jay Bilas tweeted a profanity and racial tweet after cutting and pasting lyrics for a Young Jeezy song without editing it, apparently because Bilas is so "thug" and likes to enhance his "street cred" since he analyzes basketball.

Now, maybe I'm being naive, but I thought the job of an analyst analyze. And that analysis should at least be based somewhat on facts of the sport, lending to it some credence. Or nowadays, is it just enough to open your mouth and make moronic comments?

In that case, ESPN has the market cornered on great analysts.

Rob Parker should be analyzing the tremendous first-year performance by RGIII, not whether he is black enough for other African Americans to want to "hang out" with.

Lomas Brown should be analyzing how current linemen are either protecting or not protecting current QBs, not spewing how he had a problem with the job a rookie quarterback was doing almost 20 years ago and allowed him to become injured. Save that for your tell-all autobiography after you are no longer working.

Merril Hoge should be asking why the Jets brought Tebow to New York with no intention of playing him, rather than taking nothing more than speculation and rumor from a guy like Rex Ryan about Tebow asking out of the Wildcat package. If ego were brains, Hoge couldn't fit his head in the state of Iowa, where he played college ball.

Last but not least, Jay Bilas should stick to praising the merits of a great pick-and-roll, rather than worrying about looking all gangsta for his "fans."

Seriously guys, stick to simple analysis of the sports you cover, and save us all the constant head-shaking at your total ignorance.


  1. I hate ESPN for this very reason. Buncha morons work for them.

  2. They say what they say because they want to be as famous as the athletes they cover and the easiest way to get their names out there is by saying crazy stuff.

  3. I'll give a guy the occasional slip up, but every time Rob Parker opens his mouth, something stupid comes out of it. ESPN should be ashamed of themselves just for being associated with him.